FILM OF THE WEEK

WHAT WE DID ON OUR HOLIDAY (12A, 95 mins)

Comedy/Drama/Romance. David Tennant, Rosamund Pike, Ben Miller, Amelia Bullmore, Billy Connolly, Emilia Jones, Bobby Smalldridge, Harriet Turnbull, Celia Imrie. Directors: Andy Hamilton, Guy Jenkin. Released: September 26 (UK & Ireland)

In 2007, Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin abandoned the conventions of a tightly scripted sitcom and took a more fluid approach to mining laughs in the breakout hit Outnumbered.

While the adult characters' lines were committed to the page, the young actors were allowed to improvise around suggestions from Hamilton and Jenkin, and consequently delivered natural performances, reacting instinctively to set-ups and punchlines.

The writer-directors adopt the same winning recipe for this uproarious feature film debut, an ill-fated family road trip laced with absurdity that touches the heart and tickles the funny bone.

Once again, it's the younger cast who scene-steal with aplomb, explaining why a bout of car sickness is a source of joy ("It's like being a fountain!") and succinctly distilling the anguish and betrayal of parental infidelity into a single throwaway line: "Dad had an affair with a Paralympic athlete with one foot."

That's not to say that Hamilton and Jenkin short-change the rest of the ensemble cast including David Tennant, Rosamund Pike and Glaswegian firebrand Billy Connolly.

They snaffle a generous smattering of belly laughs too, like when Connolly's cantankerous grandfather tries to explain Hitler's seizure of land in terms a bairn might understand: "Like Monopoly, but with more screaming."

Gordie McLeod (Connolly) is poised to celebrate his 75th birthday in the Scottish Highlands.

His self-obsessed son Gavin (Ben Miller) is hosting the lavish party to impress the neighbours and hopefully secure the captaincy of the local golf club.

Gavin's long-suffering and neurotic wife Margaret (Amelia Bullmore) remains in the background, occasionally exploding with pent-up rage.

As the party beckons, Gavin's less successful brother Doug (David Tennant) and his wife Abi (Rosamund Pike) arrive with their three children in tow: 11-year-old Lottie (Emilia Jones), who scribbles repeatedly in her notebook so she can remember which lies she is supposed to tell; six-year-old Mickey (Bobby Smalldridge), who is obsessed with Vikings; and five-year-old Jess (Harriet Turnbull), whose best friends are two rocks christened Eric and Norman.

The birthday celebrations are unexpectedly thrown into disarray and a media scrum descends on the family's doorsteps along with an interfering Social Services officer called Agnes (Celia Imrie), who casts doubt on Doug and Abi's ability to nurture their dysfunctional brood.

What We Did On Our Holiday is a rip-roaring riot, laying bare the petty jealousies and deep-rooted fears within a family while dealing with serious issues through the unblinkered eyes of the three children.

Tennant and Miller spark a fiery sibling rivalry with excellent support from Pike and Bullmore, the latter proving that it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

Hamilton and Jenkin eschew cloying sentimentality in the film's tricky final third, striking a pleasing and ultimately winning balance between musing and amusing.

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THE EQUALIZER (15, 132 mins)

Action/Thriller. Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, Chloe Grace Moretz, David Harbour, Haley Bennett, Bill Pullman, Melissa Leo, David Meunier, Johnny Skourtis. Director: Antoine Fuqua. Released: September 26 (UK & Ireland)

Director Antoine Fuqua, who guided Denzel Washington to the Oscar podium in Training Day, reunites with the charismatic actor for this gratuitously violent reimagining of the beloved 1980s TV series.

Nostalgic memories of Edward Woodward's refined approach to justice and crime-fighting on the small screen are blown to smithereens by this brutish, big-screen rendering of The Equalizer.

In a dizzying opening fight sequence, Washington impales a corkscrew in one henchman's noggin and repeatedly pummels a couple more as if he was tenderising a large slab of steak.

Each bone-cracking blow, stab and punch is captured in balletic close-up; a queasy dance of death that reaches a hilarious and frenetic crescendo with drills and sledgehammers in a hardware warehouse where the title character works when he's not coolly doling out just desserts.

Screenwriter Richard Wenk, who co-wrote The Expendables 2 with Sylvester Stallone, comes perilously close to the tongue-in-cheek tone of that film when Washington is asked by a work colleague how he hurt his bandaged hand and he drolly responds, "I hit it on something stupid".

We presume he means the script, considering the implausibilities of the final act, steeped in mindless and repetitive bloodletting.

Robert McCall (Washington) has turned his back on his past as a covert government operative and has fashioned an unremarkable life in suburbia, where he nurses memories of his dead wife.

By day, he earns a decent wage in a Home Mart warehouse and mentors another employee, Ralphie (Johnny Skourtis), through his security guard's exam.

By night, McCall works his way through a list of 100 books everyone should read while enjoying a coffee at his local diner, where he befriends a sassy prostitute called Teri (Chloe Grace Moretz).

When she ends up in hospital, battered and bruised at the hands of her controlling Russian pimp Slavi (David Meunier), McCall exacts revenge.

Justice seemingly prevails.

Unfortunately, Slavi and his goons are a link in a bigger chain controlled by the Russian Mafia and they dispatch sadistic fixer Teddy (Marton Csokas) to track down McCall.

The Equalizer starts off promisingly, exploring the minutiae of McCall's daily life as a man scarred by grief and tormented by his past.

Washington is in his element in these early scenes, capturing the maelstrom of emotions that simmer beneath his character's placid surface.

Once the first drop of blood is spilt, director Fuqua seizes every opportunity for wanton carnage, to the point that it seems like nothing short of a nuclear explosion will stop McCall in his tracks.

Csokas' vindictive antagonist has little depth beyond his propensity for cruelty and pain, which is something we experience as the running time drags unnecessarily into a third hour.

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MAPS TO THE STARS (18, 112 mins)

Drama/Romance. Julianne Moore, Mia Wasikowska, Robert Pattinson, John Cusack, Olivia Williams, Evan Bird, Sarah Gadon, Sean G Robertson, Carrie Fisher, Gord Rand. Director: David Cronenberg. Released: September 26 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)

At the end of the 1990 comedy Pretty Woman, as Julia Roberts and Richard Gere savour their fairy-tale romance, a nameless man strolls across a sidewalk and hollers to the hills.

"Welcome to Hollywood!" he bellows, "What's your dream? Everybody comes here, this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't, but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood."

More than two decades later, that rose-tinted dream turns sour in David Cronenberg's relentlessly grim satire of ambition, greed and dark familial secrets.

Scriptwriter Bruce Wagner, who crafted this lacerating portrait while he was working as a limousine driver in Tinseltown, is unflinching in his depiction of how far some starlets will go to extend their 15 minutes of fame... even if it means thrusting a stiletto heel into the head of a rival to clamber up the pecking order.

Precocious child stars bound for rehab and New Age healers are in Wagner's sights as he laments the death of raw talent and berates the rise of the perfectly packaged commodity.

And they don't come more lucrative than 13-year-old Benjie Weiss (Evan Bird), the pre-pubescent prince of the box office whose upwards trajectory is carefully managed by his mother Christina (Olivia Williams).

Back at home, Benjie's father, self-help guru Dr Stafford Weiss (John Cusack), realigns the chakras of wealthy clientele including fame-hungry actress Havana Segrand (Julianne Moore), who is pinning her resurgence on a remake of the film that made her mother, Clarice Taggart (Sarah Gadon), a star.

Havana hopes her friend Carrie Fisher (playing herself) might put in a good word with the director of the remake, indie wunderkind Damien Javitz (Gord Rand).

While Havana awaits news on the role, she employs a new personal assistant, a "disfigured schizophrenic" called Agatha (Mia Wasikowska), whose sardonic take on Hollywood attracts handsome limo driver Jerome Fontana (Robert Pattinson).

Meanwhile, Benjie succumbs to the green-eyed monster when a young co-star (Sean G Robertson) steals his thunder and Stafford prepares a defence to counter slurs on his reputation: "Worst case scenario: I go on Oprah again, do the whole Lance Armstrong thing."

Maps To The Stars is anchored by Moore's fearless and emotionally raw performance as a screen siren, who is haunted - literally - by the ghost of her more successful mother.

Wasikowska is similarly impressive as a daughter undone by the sins of her father and Pattinson continues to shove a stake through the heart of his image as a swooning teen dreamboat in the Twilight saga.

Screenwriter Wagner doesn't always achieve smooth transitions between black comedy, drama and tragedy, and he tips the wink too early to the skeletons rattling in the Weiss family closet.

However, he does puncture over-inflated egos of the rich and supposedly fabulous with the skill of someone who has been there and almost done that.

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I ORIGINS (15, 106 mins)

Released: September 26 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)

Mike Cahill, writer-director of Another Earth, reunites with actor Brit Marling on this beguiling science fiction drama about a small team of scientists, who make a jaw-dropping discovery about human existence.

Science graduate Ian Gray (Michael Pitt) has always been fascinated with eyes and often takes pictures of people's irises, which are the subject of his research.

He is examining the evolution of the human eye with lab partner Kenny (Steven Yeun) and new assistant Karen (Marling).

During a break from this research, Ian meets Sofi (Astrid Berges-Frisbey) and falls head over heels in love.

They plan to marry but the big day is interrupted by a telephone call from Karen to inform Ian that they have made a major breakthrough that could change the scientific landscape forever.

This tug-of-war between personal and professional responsibilities puts a strain on Ian's relationship with Sofi, which reaches a crescendo when Ian temporarily loses his eyesight following an accident in the laboratory.

 

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IDA (12A, 82 mins)

Released: September 26 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)

Polish-born British director Pawel Pawlikowski, who won a BAFTA for My Summer Of Love, films in his homeland for the first time in this emotional 1960s-set drama. Eighteen-year-old orphan Anna (Agata Trzebuchowska) has been raised in a convent and she has devoted her life to the Lord under the watchful gaze of the Mother Superior (Halina Skoczynska).

As Anna prepares to become a nun, Mother Superior insists that the young woman reconnect with her past by visiting her sole living relative.

So Anna abandons the safety of the convent and travels to meet her aunt Wanda (Agata Kulesza), a cynical Communist Party insider, who discloses that Anna's real name is Ida and her Jewish parents were murdered during the Nazi occupation.

This revelation devastates Anna and she embarks on a heart-wrenching journey back to her family's house in the countryside to unlock the secrets of her tragic past.

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HONEYMOON (15, 88 mins)

Released: September 26 (UK, selected cinemas)

Newlyweds go down to the woods and get a nasty surprise in Leigh Janiak's horror thriller.

Paul (Harry Treadaway) and Bea (Rose Leslie) set off on a romantic honeymoon to a rustic cabin.

They head to a nearby restaurant for a meal and are shocked when the owner, Will (Ben Huber), angrily asks them to leave.

It transpires that Will is Bea's childhood friend but this does not explain his reaction to seeing her for the first time in years.

Wedded bliss becomes a nightmare when Bea goes missing and Paul finds her naked and disoriented in the woods.

She claims that she has been sleepwalking due to stress and assures Paul that she will be fine.

Over time, Bea's behaviour becomes increasingly erratic and Paul suspects something unspeakable happened to his bride on the night she vanished.

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HUMAN CAPITAL (15, 108 mins)

Released: September 26 (UK, selected cinemas)

Based on Stephen Amidon's bestselling book of the same name, Human Capital is an Italian drama about two families whose lives become inextricably entwined by a hit and run accident involving a cyclist.

Director Paolo Virzi transplants the source text from Connecticut to Brianza near Milan where talkative father Dino (Fabrizio Bentivoglio) lives with his daughter Serena (Matilde Gioli).

She is dating Massimiliano (Guglielmo Pinelli), the son of a wealthy hedge fund magnate called Giovanni (Fabrizio Gifuni) whose wife Carla (Valeria Bruni Tedeschi) is a failed actress permanently on the verge of an emotional meltdown.

When Giovanni meets Dino, he suggests that the father and real-estate agent might want to increase his stock by investing 500,000 euros in a fund.

Desperate to be part of Giovanni's social circle, Dino secretly mortgages his business and uses his house as collateral behind the back of his second wife Roberta (Valeria Golino), who is pregnant with their child.

Secrets and lies between the two clans come to a head when a tragedy on the road poses uncomfortable questions about the value of a human life.

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SALVATORE GIULIANI (12A, 123 mins)

Released: September 26 (UK, selected cinemas)

A re-release of Francesco Rosi's celebrated 1962 drama, which centres on a real-life bandit who operated in Sicily in the aftermath of the Second World War.

On July 5, 1950, the lifeless, bullet-riddled body of Mafia leader Salvatore Giuliano (Pietro Cammarata) is found in a courtyard.

As mourners gather for his funeral, the film employs a fragmented flashback structure to trace Salvatore's rise to power as a separationist guerrilla leader.

When a Communist rally at Portella della Ginestra descends into senseless bloodshed, Italian authorities declare war on Salvatore and his acolytes including his second-in-command Gaspare Pisciotta (Frank Wolff).

Eventually, the outlaws are forced to choose sides and fragile allegiances deteriorate, casting Salvatore adrift at the mercy of his rivals.

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THE LAST IMPRESARIO (15, 92 mins)

Released: September 26 (UK, selected cinemas)

Known affectionately to his friends as Chalky, London theatre and film impresario Michael White irrevocably shaped the cultural scene of 1970s London.

He introduced artistic trend-setters Pina Bausch and Merce Cunningham to the capital and was also the driving force behind the stage productions Oh! Calcutta! and The Rocky Horror Show, as well as the seminal comedy Monty Python's The Holy Grail.

Documentary filmmaker Gracie Otto pays tribute to this unsung hero, who is now in his late seventies but still likes to party.

The film includes interviews with 50 of White's closest friends and collaborators including John Cleese, Barry Humphries, Kate Moss, Richard O'Brien, Yoko Ono, John Waters, Naomi Watts and Anna Wintour.

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GHOST IN THE SHELL (15, 83 mins)

Released: September 27 (UK, selected cinemas)

A remastered HD release of Mamoru Oshii's seminal anime based on the manga series written and illustrated by Masamune Shirow.

The year is 2029 and Major Motoko Kusanagi (voiced by Atsuko Tanaka) and her team from Public Security Section 9 are assigned the seemingly impossible task of apprehending an elusive hacker known as The Puppet Master (Iemasa Kayumi).

This shadowy figure leaps from the brains of unsuspecting strangers - a ministerial translator, a rubbish collector, a small-time crook - and when authorities apprehend these suspects, The Puppet Master has already found a new host, leaving behind an empty shell.

As Kusanagi intensifies her search for The Puppet Master, she stumbles upon a deadly conspiracy and an intricate web of political intrigue.

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BILLY ELLIOT - THE MUSICAL: LIVE (Certificate TBC, 180 mins)

Released: September 28 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)

A live screening from London's West End of the Olivier Award-winning stage adaptation of the acclaimed British film about a spirited 11-year-old boy from County Durham, who dreams of becoming a ballet dancer against the turbulent backdrop of the 1980s miners' strike, with script and lyrics by Lee Hall and music by Elton John.

Directed by Stephen Daldry.

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SOUL BOYS OF THE WESTERN WORLD (12A, 110 mins)

Released: September 30 (UK & Ireland, selected cinemas)

Formed in the late 1970s in London, Spandau Ballet became one of the UK's iconic bands during the 1980s before splitting acrimoniously in 1990.

They sold more than 25 million records and amassed 23 hit singles across the globe, underlining the popularity and success of Tony Hadley, John Keeble, Gary Kemp, Martin Kemp and Steve Norman.

This documentary charts the band's meteoric rise to fame and the screening is followed by a Q&A hosted by Lauren Laverne from The Royal Albert Hall in London plus a live performance by the band.

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GONE GIRL (Certificate TBC, 148 mins)

Released: October 2 (UK & Ireland)

Adapted from her own bestseller by Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl is an edge-of-seat psychological thriller about a distraught husband, who becomes the prime suspect for his wife's disappearance.

On her fifth wedding anniversary, Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) vanishes without trace. Her spouse Nick (Ben Affleck) works with the police to front a high-profile media campaign to secure the safe return of his "amazing Amy".

In the glare of the spotlight, fractures appear in the Dunnes' marriage and police and public both question Nick's innocence. With Amy's creepy ex-boyfriend Desi Collings (Neil Patrick Harris) as another suspect, Detectives Rhonda Boney (Kim Dickens) and Jim Gilpin (Patrick Fugit) search for answers but the police are unprepared for the hairpin twists and turns in the investigation.

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BANG BANG! (Certificate and running time TBC)

Released: October 2 (UK, selected cinemas)

Hrithik Roshan and Katrina Kaif headline Siddharth Raj Anand's globe-trotting, action-packed Bollywood remake of the Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz thriller Knight And Day.

Harleen Sahni (Kaif) is a lowly bank clerk, who craves some excitement in her humdrum life. She gets just that when she unexpectedly crosses paths with Rajveer Nanda (Roshan), who claims to be an elite spy in the middle of a diabolical international plot.

Rajveer asks Harleen to help clear his besmirched name and she is soon embroiled in a series of gunfights and adrenaline-pumping car and bike chases. Marked for death by virtue of her association with Rajveer, Harleen no longer knows who she can trust and as the net closes in on the spy, she must make a life-altering decision about where her loyalties lie.

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HAIDER (Certificate and running time TBC)

Released: October 2 (UK, selected cinemas)

Vishal Bhardwaj directs and co-writes this re-imagining of Shakespeare's bloody tragedy Hamlet, transplanting the murder and chicanery to modern day Kashmir.

Haider (Shahid Kapoor) is tormented by the disappearance of his father (Irrfan Khan) and the speed with which his uncle (Kay Kay Menon) assumes control of the family and takes his sister-in-law Ghazala (Tabu) as his wife.

One night, Haider meets his father's ghost, who reveals his true demise at the uncle's hands.

The murdered patriarch demands revenge and fashions Haider as the instrument of his retribution.

Poor Haider is driven to the brink of madness by his father's disclosure, which puts intolerable strain on his burgeoning romance with a pretty journalist called Arshia (Shradda Kapoor).

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UK FILM TOP 10

1. The Boxtrolls

2. A Walk Among The Tombstones

3. Pride

4. Lucy

5. The Riot Club

6. Sex Tape

7. Guardians Of The Galaxy

8. A Most Wanted Man

9. Before I Go To Sleep

10. Let's Be Cops

(Chart courtesy of Cineworld.co.uk)